Fated Desire Read online

  “Bain?” she breathed. She stopped in front of him, the tips of their feet brushing against each other. He stood erect and stiff. Delia looked at him with wide eyes filled with need. His were a barely contained inferno.

  “Fuck it,” he growled under his breath, too low for her to be sure that’s what he’d said. Bain crushed her body to his and fused his mouth to hers.

  This! This is what she had been craving.

  Delia moaned into the kiss. Her world went bright, her arms wrapping around his head as she opened her lips and took his bruising kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair as he tasted her, tongue gathering her red velvet and coffee flavor. She moaned into the kiss.

  Bain crushed her into his arms. As his mouth explored hers, he forgot all the reasons he had concocted about why seeing her again was a bad idea. He had missed her beyond words. He’d refused to acknowledge how hard it had been to leave her in his bed and walk away. How hard had he fought with himself to stay away, to not try to find her? She was there in the flesh and responsive to his kiss. He couldn’t let her go. Not without burying himself in her sweetness. He pulled back from the kiss and watched the way she licked her swollen lips. What he wouldn’t give to feel her lips on his cock.

  “Why are you here?” she asked him.

  “The book reading…” Bain said, ignoring the pang of guilt. He wasn’t lying.

  “Right. I forgot. New York’s elite and all. Speaking of which, there’s a big shot politician here. Asher was just having a meeting with him, or at least that was what Cel said this morning. I should go see if they’re done, so I can leave,” Delia said, hoping he heard the unasked question in her voice.

  “They left already. They escorted the rich politician dude out and asked security to lock up. I was just about to leave too when I saw you. Would you like to get out of here?” Bain offered.

  “Sure. Yeah. I’ll show you my place.” Delia smiled to herself. Maybe the girls were right. Maybe the library was magic.

  Chapter Seven

  Bain strolled into Delia’s house like he owned it. It should have been annoying, the man’s ability to just own any room he walked into, but instead it made her pussy wet. Delia bit her lip and tried to find restraint. She needed to talk to him, but as soon as he closed the distance between them, her thoughts scattered like ash in the wind.

  “I thought of you,” Bain murmured. It wasn’t what he said, but how he said it, low, deep in thought with his fingers slowly stroking her face. Delia leaned into his touch and sighed softly. His caress became rougher. The need he’d tried to hide in the library surged into his molten eyes. His hands moved to her neck, drumming at her pulse. She whimpered. He smirked.

  “You missed me,” he said. It was a statement of fact.

  “Yes.” She was shameless.

  “Good. Stay,” Bain instructed before moving away from her. He walked into her kitchen and rummaged through her cupboards while Delia stayed rooted to her spot. He walked back into the room and took her by the hand. She led him to the bedroom, stopping in the middle of it. Bain took her body slowly in his and laid down on the bed, cuddling her to his body. Delia smiled to herself, feeling more relaxed than she’d felt in the last few weeks.

  “My name is Delia Dresden,” she whispered. Bain stiffened beneath her, the only sign that he still didn’t want to know her name.

  “What’s your last name?” Delia asked even though she suspected he wouldn’t answer.

  “I cannot tell you.” Bain sighed into her hair.

  “Because I’m a convenient one night stand?” Delia asked, absorbing the heartbreak of that sentence, drinking it until it made her mouth taste bitter.

  “No. If I told you, you would want nothing to do with me and I would very much like to keep you with me,” Bain murmured into her hair.

  “Tell me something real,” Delia demanded.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I should stop; I know I should leave you alone for someone less tainted but I cannot stop thinking about you. If you want something real? I’m here. Real,” Bain growled, grabbing her lips in a kiss. He twisted until his body engulfed hers with its heat and hard planes. She wrapped her legs around his and clawed at his shirt. This time he didn’t stop her. She ran her hands over his heated skin, tracing the muscles of his back as they contracted under her hands. He growled into her mouth and deepened the kiss, entwining his tongue with hers in a wet, heated dance. He pulled back and took off his shirt, exposing his chiseled chest and perfect abs to her hungry gaze. She traced the defined lines of his muscles as he sat back and let her marvel at the beauty of him. Hard muscles and pale satin skin. She had never been with a man so beautiful, and so obviously powerful. He stripped her, taking off her clothes with a gentleness that made her want to beg him to touch her. He moved them off the bed until she stood naked before him.

  “Kneel,” he ordered.

  Delia obeyed.

  “Suck my cock,” he growled.

  Delia swallowed, her body eager to fulfill his every desire. She pulled out his cock, hard and angry. She smiled at him and blew hot air on the sensitive head of his beautiful cock. He gripped her head and pushed her down slowly, gold eyes on grey as she opened her mouth and took his cock. She licked the tip slowly. Thoroughly. He groaned her name, a prayer and a curse, as she slid her lips down his cock and swallowed him whole.

  “Fuck!” He twisted his hands in her hair and fucked her mouth in deep, slow strokes. Delia arched her back, her mouth never leaving his cock. Though she was on her knees, he made her feel powerful. Her pussy was dripping wet, clenching with every thrust. He pulled her off him slowly and pulled her up to her feet, then he pulled her down on the bed, rumpling the sweet-smelling sheets.

  “Ride me Selene. Use my cock for your pleasure,” he ordered.

  Delia moaned as she lowered herself on his cock with her ass facing him. She swiveled up and drove her hips down hard. Her pussy clenched around his cock, spasming as she shook with pleasure. He gripped her hips and thrust into her, driving his cock deeper. Her ass, delectable and firm, jiggled and bounced with the force of his thrusts.

  “I’m going to spank you,” he warned her.

  Delia moaned, feeling hot all over. He brought out the spatula he found in her kitchen and turned it into a makeshift paddle. As he brought it down on her ass her pussy gushed for him. He growled, pulled her hair back until her ear aligned with his lips.

  “You like it, you dirty little slut? You like it?” he growled.

  “Fuck yes,” she moaned. He slammed his cock into her, spanking her at the same time. He bounced her on his cock, thrust, thwack! Thrust, thwack! Until she was a quivering mess of sensation. She wanted to cum; she needed to cum.

  “Cum for me Selene,” he whispered in her ear.

  Her body responded and she came hard. She squirted, drenching him and the bed sheets with her pussy juice.

  “Fuck!” He growled at the sight and exploded deep inside her. He rested his head against her and let her catch her breath, then took her in his arms and watched as she fell asleep.

  “I don’t know what this is Selene, but I don’t want it to end,” he said slowly into her hair. Delia smiled even in her sleep. She didn’t want it to end either—and who said it had to?

  Chapter Eight

  Was it possible to be in love with a man she barely knew? Delia was torn. Bain came to her almost every night. Some days he brought dinner; other days he offered to cook for her. They watched movies and he taught her depths of pleasures she didn’t know existed. With him she felt safe, protected and at peace. He insisted he couldn’t tell her much about himself but he opened up to her slowly. The night before, he’d asked her questions about her childhood and he’d answered every question she’d asked. But even then he still held back. Delia wasn’t a fool. She knew she couldn’t let herself fall all the way in love with him when she was certain her heart would be broken eventually.

  “I don’t think you’re paying attention to a
nything I’m saying.” Mari sighed.

  “Sorry. Sorry. Did you want a book?” Delia asked her friend.

  “You’ve been kinda quiet all day. Are you okay?” Celine asked, looking up from her desk.

  “Not all day, for the last week at least. Something is up. She won’t tell me what and I hate it.” Mari sighed, glancing at Celine.

  “Nothing is wrong. I’m fine,” Delia lied.

  “No you’re not. I’ve known you for a long time, Delia. You don’t have to pretend with me. Whatever is eating you up I want to hear it,” Mari insisted.

  “So do we. Whatever way we can. You’re a part of us now and you’ve brought Mari into the fold. We’re great for when you need perspective. How about it?” Celine asked.

  Delia sighed. She wasn’t getting anywhere with Bain. All he did was consume her until she couldn’t think straight. Now her heart was on the line and his secrets stood between them, looming bigger and bigger.

  “Yeah. I would love to talk,” Delia admitted. “After work.”

  Celine nodded and Mari agreed.

  Delia spent the rest of the work day wondering how she could explain Bain without sounding like a lovesick idiot. The answer still hadn’t come to her when she showed up at Celine’s house that evening with Mari. They settled in with the usual vodka and ice cream.

  “Okay babe. Talk,” Mari said softly.

  Delia sighed. “The guy I met at Bread and Bone? I’ve been seeing him. I ran into him at the book reading, and then afterward we had sex. Really great sex.”

  “And you haven’t said anything to me because?” Mari asked, mirroring the shocked gazes of all the women around her. Delia knew this was exactly the kind of reaction she would get, but it didn’t make it any easier.

  “Because I still don’t know him. I don’t know his last name. I barely know where he lives. I don’t know anything other than I’m crazy and wrong, but being with him feels so right. It’s stupid and pathetic but I think I might have fallen in love with him, and I don’t even know his fucking last name. So yeah, I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.” Delia knocked back a shot of vodka, relishing the way it burned in her throat. Despite everything, it had felt good to get that out.

  Mari looked at her and spoke quietly. “Love doesn’t exactly make anyone sane. Truth is I can’t really judge you. You know what I think about love—one man leaving me and my broken heart at the altar is all I need to convince me to never try that shit again, but you’ve got a fighting chance.” She paused, and then grinned playfully. “And girl, good orgasms. How can I judge you for that? They’re as rare as unicorns.” She pulled Delia down and held her shoulders in comfort.

  “Delia, you have to ask him. You can’t go on like this. You deserve love and a man who will move mountains for you, not just some secret affair with this Bain guy,” Celine said.

  “I know that. I promised myself I wouldn’t be anyone’s dirty secret after my old job tried to make me one and yet here I am.” Delia sighed.

  “What happened at your old job?” Leslie asked gently.

  Since she was already baring her soul, she decided to tell the whole truth.

  “I worked at a hotel. The Swan. Nothing too major, but I was what you could call a hostess. Basically I made higher-end clients comfortable. I knew which clients liked their towels mint green, who had children, who liked champagne but with orange juice so nobody suspected their alcoholism, that kind of thing. It was the hotel’s way of making sure the guests had a familiar face. One client—he’s a pretty big deal in New York circles—requested my presence. I showed up and he started to make advances at me. I brushed him off but he wouldn’t quit. The room door was locked. I tried to leave and he attacked me. He punched me in the face. I had pictures and everything. I went to the hotel board and they tried to pay me off. Insisted that he was an esteemed customer and they would rather lose me than him. They wanted me to pretend it didn’t happen. When I refused, they fired me and blacklisted me. Every hotelier in New York knew and no one would hire me because I refused to keep a secret.” Delia felt angry all over again. She had stood her ground then and she wanted to do the same now, but something about Bain made her weak.

  “I know it’s really hard, but you have to tell him this. Tell him how you feel and stand your ground. The thing with secrets is that they eventually eat you up inside,” Leslie said.

  “I was with you during and in the aftermath. You’re stronger than you think. All throughout I never saw you bow once. You love him. If he loves you, he’d go to war for you. I’m sure he has a reason for keeping his identity a secret, but whatever it is it’s getting in the way of your happiness. You should talk to him. Whatever happens, we’ll be here for you. No matter what,” Mari promised.

  Delia thought about it. She couldn’t continue to hide what she felt; it wasn’t her style. She had to tell him. With a sigh, she picked up her phone and texted Bain.

  I need to talk to you.

  Chapter Nine

  Seconds after she had sent the text, Bain responded.

  Where are you?

  He’d asked. And she’d given him the address.

  Sending a car. I’ll call you when it gets there.

  It had to mean something, Delia thought, that he’d drop everything for her. As far as comforting thoughts went it was flimsy, but she needed every ounce of strength to get through the next few hours. The car dropped her at the basement garage of a high-rise she’d never been to. Bain waited for her at the elevators. When he saw her, he gave a small smile.

  “Come. I have dinner ready,” he said as he took her hand into the elevator. Delia followed, practicing a speech of what she’d say in her head. He shocked her by speaking first.

  “I know what you want to say,” Bain said.

  “You do?” Delia asked, but of course he did. There was only one elephant in the room.

  “I can’t tell you what you want to know.” Bain sighed. He sounded exhausted from repeating himself. He rubbed his hands over his suddenly tired face with a sigh.

  “That’s not enough anymore. I’m tired of you hiding me like you’re ashamed of me. I want to go out with you. A dinner date, to the movies…” The elevator pinged, interrupting her as they spilled out into a large hallway. “I would like to get to know you. What do you do for a living? Where are you from? What are we? It isn’t just enough to tell me that we’re together. If you’re ashamed of me…”

  “I’m am not ashamed of you!” Bain cut her off.

  Delia stopped in shock. He never raised his voice. She swallowed as he scrubbed his face. His hands rumpled his perfect hair.

  “I want to keep you safe. I find myself falling deeper into the feelings I have for you. I shouldn’t be coming back but I can’t seem to help myself. If you knew who I was, if I told you, you’d walk away and never look back. It’s not that simple. All my life I have chased one goal: a promise I made to my father. Perception is such a fragile thing. I have worked hard to make sure perception is always firmly in my favor—not because I give a shit, I’ll do a fantastic job anyway, but because it’s a crucial means to an end. It’s a choice, you or life-long ambition. For the first time in my life Selene? I don’t want to choose.” Bain stepped forward, trying to touch her. Delia didn’t know when the tears had started pouring from her eyes. They tracked down her cheeks, filling her eyes with the jagged broken pieces of her heart.

  “I want you to choose me. Don’t you understand? I cannot be your secret. Love doesn’t hide. I wanted so badly for you to choose me,” Delia said, her voice quavering.

  “Selene, don’t cry.” Bain took a step toward her.

  “I am not Selene! I am Delia. Don’t you see that? Don’t you see me? I love you!” Delia screamed through her tears. She blindly made her way to the elevator, punching the buttons with a vengeance. She had to go. She couldn’t stay and be less, in love but only loved back conveniently.

  Bain watched her as she got into the elevator. He had to let her go. She was
right. Delia, she was too beautiful, too vibrant to be hidden like he had hidden her. He turned to head back into his empty apartment. He had a clear path; he had to stick to it. So why did watching her leave hurt worse than anything he’d ever felt before? Why did her tears feel like a knife to his heart? He stood there looking into his apartment so empty and silent, like his life without Delia. Suddenly, he realized what he had to do. Fuck this! And he took off, running after her.

  Delia stood outside waiting for her lift to show up. She hugged herself and shivered from the sheer heartbreak threatening to crush her. She just needed to keep it together and get home. She would call Mari, and she would survive this. She had to.

  “Delia,” Bain called behind her. He caught up quickly and stood in front of her.

  “You made your choice,” Delia said through her tears.